I have looked at Piaget’s theory to support my observation and by doing that I came to know that “children are active learners”. Available at: . I believe this statement that children learn and explore when they are active.

Jean Piaget also believed that “children are actively involved in structuring their own cognitive development through exploration of their environment. Children need real objects and concrete experiences to discover things for themselves”.

According to (D3webdesignes.com,2007-2010)Children ages 3 years old are expected to “relate present activities and past experiences and to draw a person with a head and also to sort objects into simple categories”.

By carrying out the observation on child A, I noticed that she co operates well with other children of her age. According to Penny Tassoni, (2002) “children aged 3-4 start to co-operate with each other and enjoy playing together. Most of their play is pretend play.” Therefore, this shows that she is at the right stage of her development. Her social and emotional are also at the right stage for her age.

By looking at the observation, I noticed that her physical development is at the right stage too, as she can run, walk and use the slide without any help. Her intellectual skills are that she can draw pictures, write her name, and use different colours.

Play is also plays an imperative role in children’s learning. Play helps them in developing five areas, creative, physical, imaginative, manipulative and social. Wasserman (1992) explains five advantages of play. Firstly children will be able to produce something new, and they will be able to take risks. Therefore, play provides the sensible learning and improvement to the child. In play’s learning environment, children will develop socially, emotionally, intellectually and physically.

https://www.ukessays.com/essays/young-people/an-observation-of-creative-childs-play-young-people-essay.php

People you stay with are bound to have an impact on you and your personality, especially if they are related to you like a parent, partner or sibling. Toxic relationships can immensely affect your mental health. In such a situation, dealing with a narcissistic parent can also hamper the relationship, requiring years of therapy to heal the damage. For the parent, their child being independent and unlike how they imagined can be quite threatening and this causes them to cut off the relationship dynamics altogether.

Many children grow up with the fear of living up to their parents’ expectations, who for their own selfish needs and enforce their own wishes on their children, creating mental stress and dilemma for them. This can be quite troublesome and limit the child from developing their own personality.

Another common trait which is associated with narcissistic people is jealousy and possessiveness. There can be examples when the parent can feel threatened by the child’s growth and maturity. Any time the child doesn’t spend fulfilling the parent’s wishes is seen negatively. It often ends up guilt-tripping the child to limit their own life and devote more time to the parent, which is rather unhealthy.

For children, their parents are the closest contact as well as their biggest motivators but when they live in the shadow of a narcissistic parent, constant critique and putting down can impair their self-esteem. Most common examples of this behaviour include nitpicking, invalidation, baseless comparisons and simply saying that the child is not just good enough!

The sense of superficiality arises from having an inflated ego and can be very damaging for the child, giving rise to trust issues as well. – Superficiality = lack of thoroughness, depth of character, or serious thought.

Narcissistic parents are often known to make their children feel ungrateful and not competent enough. This results in the child not getting any kind of support or love which can land them up with unresolved mental issues. – MANIPULATION

One of the most common problems encountered while dealing with self-obsessed parents is that they are particular with the things they do and get very touchy and angry if their children do not perform or behave up to their expectation.

Empathy, love and compassion can act as big tools for positive reinforcements which can affect mental well-being. In the lack of it, the child can face problems growing up, with their emotional intelligence at risk and they are also at risk of replicating the same kind of behaviour. – NOT FEELING WANTED OR LOVED

By choosing to focus on their own interests and needs, the parent can show neglect which can negatively impact a child, making them feel unneeded and alone.

https://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/do-you-have-a-narcissistic-parent-heres-how-to-know/jealousy-and-possessiveness/photostory/66693267.cms

“The Environment” as the third teacher. We try to make our children’s spaces inspiring and one of our elements is the use of mirrors.  Mirrors spread light in a room and add light to dark corners. Using smaller mirrors in interesting ways can make a space festive and interesting.

They are a unique added element to play and they also support the child’s construction of his/her self-image in the play environment. 

e.g. Face Painting and dress up areas

“Our task, regarding creativity, is to help children climb their own mountain, as high as possible.” – Loris Malaguzzi

There is something alluring about mirrors, particularly to children.  They mirror whatever is in front them, they make letters look funny, they bounce sunlight off of them, and when combined with other mirrors in exploration, they reflect reflections infinitely.

= dressing up – I could explore how children use it to create characters and do role play in job uniforms such as policemen, doctors etc. It’s a way of exploring one’s self and choosing what they enjoy and don’t enjoy (a sense of independent self play and awareness of what they can become in the future).

http://www.playathomemomllc.com/2012/01/mirror-exploration/

Narcissistic parents

Narcissistic Parents Are Literally Incapable Of Loving Their Children: Imagine growing up in a home where one of your parents couldn’t truly love you. Where every time you looked to them for encouragement, you were told that you were stupid for even trying. 

According to the Mayo Clinic, narcissistic personality disorder is defined as “a mental disorder in which people have an inflated sense of their own importance, a deep need for admiration and a lack of empathy for others. But behind this mask of ultraconfidence lies a fragile self-esteem that’s vulnerable to the slightest criticism.”

The narcissist parent sees their child merely as a possession who can be used to further their own self-interests. They often have issues with boundaries, both physically and emotionally, and unload a lot of emotional baggage onto their kids. Things are either viewed as special/ideal/perfect or worthless/harmful/garbage. There is no in-between, and they treat their children according to those extremes.

This leaves their children wanting desperately to please them (to be on the “love” side of the spectrum, rather than the darker, more hateful side) and they’ll even let their narcissistic parent control their lives, just to keep things running smoothly. Likewise, as long as kids cater to the narcissist’s needs and make them feel good about themselves, they’re more likely to respond positively, making the child’s home life more harmonious. But as kids grow up, they become stronger, more confident, more brave. Narcissistic parents see their children’s independence as a direct threat to the control they want or need over their lives.

Out of desperation to retain control, narcissists will try to deliberately sabotage their child’s sense of self-worth. Some of the common tactics they use include creating unhealthy competitions, using guilt and blame, giving ultimatums, and/or putting their child down (by telling them they’re fat, ugly, useless, stupid, etc.) to try to keep their child’s confidence low.

It’s not surprising that many kids who grow up in these types of unhealthy environments develop feelings of guilt and low self-esteem that they later carry into adulthood. Kids raised by narcissistic parents are less likely to develop a realistic self-image.

As children of narcissists become adults, they have to learn there’s a difference between real love and narcissistic “love.” And that includes coming to terms with the fact that what they’ve experienced is actually emotional abuse and constant gaslighting.

The cycle of abuse and control doesn’t end because you’ve left the nest. Narcissists can’t turn themselves off.

They’re constantly belittled and treated as if they’ll never be good enough. But it’s the parent, not the child, who has the problem — a personality disorder that renders them physically incapable of empathy and love.

https://www.scarymommy.com/narcissistic-parents-incapable-loving-children/

 

How Does Someone “Get” a Narcissistic Personality Disorder?

Narcissistic Personality Disorders are a byproduct of certain childhoodfamily environments. All children want their parents’ approval and attention. Children adapt to their homes, and often the most productive and reasonable adaptation to some home situations is to become a Narcissist. Below are some common scenarios that can contribute to children becoming Narcissistic.

The Perception of Flaws & Shame – When parents idealize their children, the children may become ashamed when they see any flaws in themselves. This can lead them to keep striving for perfection and proof that they are flawless and worth idealizing.

Stunted Development of the Real Self – In this process, children may lose touch with their real selves and real likes and dislikes. Instead of exploring who they really are and where their true interests and talents lie, they can get off track entirely and spend their time only doing things that they are already good at and they think will get their parents’ approval.

Too much parental idealization may lead to an unbalanced view of the self. When this happens, the child then perceives any flaws as unacceptable and strives to be seen as perfect.

Once you know what to look for, it is easy to see how certain childhood home environments support Narcissistic adaptations by the children.  In some homes, becoming a Narcissist is often the only sane solution.

https://www.psychologytoday.com/gb/blog/understanding-narcissism/201705/how-do-children-become-narcissists

 

 

9 Ways Children Of Narcissistic Parents Love Differently

5 Damaging Lies We Learn From Narcissistic Parents

This is the literal sense of the black mirror at Saatchi Gallery where the mirror is all black which I interpret as our dark self when we look or try to be within the mirror.

Michalea

• Body dysmorphia research more on it – look at cases/ real life stories
• Add more quotes from journals
• Get a psychologist/doctor’s point of view to your theme of social media and body dysmorphia

Lea

• Elaborate on one’s identity
• Stick to mental illness caused by medias etc
• Talk about the youth today what they go through pros and cons of the internet
• Why does the youth want to be celebrities? (have a question in the end for the reader to think about)

My feedback (Raquel)

• Stick to giving different children’s perspectives on the topic (opinion based – them thinking logically and having proof for the essay)
• How mirror scales and the difference between children’s mirrors and adult mirrors can show how one is confident and have a high self-esteem – subconsciously a good point that we don’t even realise
• How children grow up with narcissistic parents? – a journal/news to look at, how a child can develop narcissistic aspects which leads into to their youth/adulthood
• Find evidence to back up the child development and understanding one’s self

02/11/18 – 19/11/18

YEAR 2 FORMATIVE

Formative Presentation link

 

Inspired by this piece at the Saatchi Gallery: I did a small drawing activity with some of the children I work with at my part time job in a nursery. These examples show a glimpse of their personalities and their confidence in themselves as I noticed the shy ones would draw themselves quite small and not wanting me to have a look or even keep the drawings. But some were the complete opposites.

 

 and Scan 6

Julia: Drew her face with a continuous line first from her hair then towards her eyes. (yellow paper drawing)

Caua: “I drew my curly werly’s and my legs and my cheeks.” The only child that was properly observing himself in the mirror exploring each of his features even including his eyebrows. – he stayed the longest in drawing himself like so three times as he wanted to give me one and give his parents each one. Reminds me a lot about his personality being confident and commanding and intrigued by doing and creating things.

 

It was interesting to explore how each child’s work came out differently and how they describes themselves as. Some where really invested in exploring this activity but some where bored and gave up the first few minutes.

Their class has a display board called ‘ALL ABOUT ME’ where they stuck on eyes, crown, hair etc on their paper faces which they then coloured in to show a sense of their own representation and how they want others to seem them as.

These types of mirrors are usually seen at circuses or theme parks to add humour. They can also be visual examples of how one can feel, for example think one is ‘fat’ – sees in the mirror a stretched/obese version of themselves.